A generic ‘do you have any feedback to share with me?’ thrown in at the end of your 1:1’s isn’t likely to prompt any real reflection or candour.
There are some very real barriers to upwards feedback. The power imbalance inherent in the management relationship means you need to build trust and safety if you want to receive genuine insight.
This script will help you ask for feedback in a way that means you’ll actually get it.
We’ve used a specific example around getting feedback after a team meeting to illustrate how sharing your intentions, showing vulnerability and being specific about what you want to get out of the conversation encourages your team members to open up.
Before we dive in: you’ll note that we’ve referred back to an earlier conversation at the start here - if you’re not in the habit of regularly asking for feedback, it’s a good idea to give your team member a heads up on what you’d like to discuss ahead of time so they prepare accordingly.
Say
Hi [insert name], as I mentioned earlier, one of the things I wanted to discuss today was getting your perspective on the team meeting we had earlier.
I felt like I didn’t do the best job at keeping us on track. Being clear and intentional about my communication is something I’m really working on at the moment - and it’s also important to me that we create a space where everyone’s perspective is heard.
Listen
Encourage your team member to share their initial reflections, giving space to open up. Reflect back what you’ve heard to check your understanding.
Say
What do you think landed well?
What’s one thing I could do differently next time around to make the meeting a better use of everyone’s time?
Listen
Make some notes on the detail of their reflections. When people take the time to give us feedback, it’s important to demonstrate that you’re listening and absorbing what they’ve taken the time to share.
Say
Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I’m really glad we had this conversation.
How to wrap up the convo:
Say
I can’t wait to put some of this into practice at our next meeting - and if you have any other suggestions in the meantime, I’d love to hear them!
How to respond to pushback:
don’t be discouraged if you don’t get a full response straight away. Some people need more time to open up than others - or may have had bad experiences with sharing feedback upwards previously. If this happens, reiterate your feedback intention and try again in your next 1:1.
Next steps to consider
One final note: this script is a great resource to help you prepare for a check in with your team members - but you should always consult your company handbook and any relevant policies before the conversation.
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