Managing on up - tips for creating a great relationship with your boss.
Even as I tentatively type the first line of this blog post, I can sense the eye rolls. Managing a team is hard enough - should you really have to manage your boss too?
The term ‘managing upwards’ might suggest a need to compensate for poor management. However at its core, managing upwards is about intentionally building a great relationship with the person likely to be closest to your work - one that is based on communication, trust and mutual respect.
The best way to start managing upwards is to get to know your manager well. Whether you’ve been working together for just a few weeks or much longer, you can integrate direct questions on the below topics into your 1:1’s to get to know your manager better:
The purpose of doing this isn’t to bend over backwards to adapt to your boss's style, but rather to be able to tease out commonalities and points of difference. By doing this, you’ll start to work out how to make each other's lives easier.
On that note - it’s important to emphasise that this process of getting to know each other should be reciprocal. It is also in your interest to make your strengths and aspirations clear to your manager. This way, you’re more likely to be top of mind when they are delegating projects that align with your ambitions.
Asking direct questions and getting to know your manager well sets your relationship up for success, but it’s important to remember that building connection and trust with your manager is a continuous process. The trust equation is a helpful model for identifying things you can do to keep working on it.
In other words - building trust is about:
The self-interest piece is a good reminder to focus on shared goals and how you can add value to each other's working lives.
Managing upwards also involves challenging your manager when needed. When done with compassion and care, challenging up can be something that really strengthens your relationship.
One consistently thorny area to navigate with your manager is aligning on realistic targets and a sustainable workload for you and your team. If you’re good at your job and keen to grow, it’s easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to everything.
If you’re overstretched and your manager tries to delegate more work to you or your team, it’s important to be honest about your capacity. This doesn’t always mean an outright no - sometimes it’s as simple as saying ‘I would be happy to do X, but in order to prioritise this, I will need to deprioritise Y’. Pushing back in this way will give you more insight into what’s important to your manager - and may even help them clarify their own thinking about what’s important to achieve their broader strategic objectives.
Managing up also involves asking for help when you need it and regularly and proactively seeking feedback from your manager. This demonstrates that you care about your work and encourages them to invite feedback in return.
If they don’t get the hint - it’s important to bite the bullet and give your manager feedback anyway. This might be intimidating - but feedback is necessary for everyone’s development - and delivered well, can help strengthen your relationship. Make sure your feedback lands by asking for their view, being specific and framing your comments well - e.g. around a shared goal.
‘I really want to make sure we both get value from our 1:1’s. What do you think is working well about them at the moment? What feels like less of a good use of time?’ [Listen to their perspective]
‘My observation is that recently we’ve focused a bit more on status updates. I’d love us to make sure we’re regularly checking in on the development goals we set together at the beginning of the quarter so I can get your feedback on how things are going. Maybe we can also change the way we do project updates to focus on any issues that are blocking me?
So there you have it. Managing up successfully isn’t about doing your manager’s job for them. It’s about focusing on building trust and maintaining honest and open communication - making both you and your manager’s job easier.
Check out these other resources.
Join the list.
Every two weeks our community newsletter is released to spark curiosity about the world around you and challenge your thinking. Sound good?