What’s your definition of a life well lived?
It’s a big question to kick off a short blog post.
Let’s throw some more into the mix:
If you’re struggling to know where to start with answering the above questions - you’re not alone.
The invitation I’m extending with this article is to return to the above prompts when you have the time and space to reflect deeply on today’s topic - defining your personal values.
This is part one of a two part series - in part two, we’ll be exploring what it means to lead with your values.
Taking a swift step back, let’s first define the term ‘personal values’. My definition is relatively simple - your personal values are principles that you can use to guide the way you live and work.
Your personal values should act like an anchor, giving you a framework to ground your decisions and pulling you back when you’re asked to do things that don’t align with your personal ethical framework.
Even if you haven’t (yet) defined your values explicitly, we all have some kind of value system, based on our cultural background, our upbringing and life experience. Our values may evolve over time as our environment and immediate social network changes.
Taking the time to define your personal values has many benefits - on a purely human level, defining our values can allow us to make conscious choices about the type of life we want to live. This increased clarity contributes to a sense of peace and wellbeing.
Defining our values also helps us to be intentional about where we spend our time and how we expend our energy. We don’t always have control over everything in our life - there are systems of oppression and structural and societal constraints that all of us are forced to contend with. However, living by our values increases our sense of agency - and may even help give us the fuel to challenge systems that don’t serve us.
If you’re a leader of people, getting clear on your values can also help you build a concrete picture of the way you want to show up for your team. It’s much easier to clearly articulate your expectations if you’re clear on the values that they’re rooted in.
Another important part of your role as a leader is to advocate for your team and influence the culture and strategic direction of your organisation. Having clarity on your values can be a powerful motivator to stand up when decisions are made that don’t align with them.
Zooming out, consciously making decisions in line with your personal values can also help you design a way of working that actually fits in with the rest of your life. Work is not the only thing that’s important to our identity - but it can often feel overwhelmingly dominant considering the hours we put in. Having clarity around your values can put things into perspective and help you improve your ability to set boundaries.
Finally, defining your values can also help you make important decisions about your career, helping you to assess whether the organisation you belong to continues to be the right place for you to grow - and what your next steps could look like.
There are a number of good starting points you can use to help you uncover your values. The first is using prompting questions like the ones we started this blog with.
Here’s a few more to get your teeth into:
You could also start by looking at a list of common values - beginning by just observing and noting down what you’re most drawn to. Next, try and narrow your list to a number you’re comfortable with (usually between 3-5).
It’s important, however, to not just stop there - make your values really feel like yours by defining what they actually mean to you.
For example - one of my values is childlike curiosity. Here’s how I define it:
I am endlessly curious about the world and I like to find wonder, humour + hope wherever I can. I love the Great Gatsby quote: ‘reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope.’
If you’re still struggling with getting started, you might find it helpful to work with a coach. A good coach will listen deeply, ask probing questions and really help you get to the heart of what matters most to you.
Every coach out there has a different style and way of working - and it can be intimidating to start searching for one that’s right for you. We suggest first asking for recommendations from people you trust within your network. If this isn’t an option or draws a blank, you could use the International Coaching Federation (ICF) website to search for coaches in your area. It’s worth noting, however, that not all coaches are ICF qualified - and some that are not still have plenty to offer. Most coaches will offer an initial chat to understand your goals and explain their approach - we suggest meeting a handful and asking questions to find the support you’re looking for.
Once you've defined your personal values, it's time to start leading by them!
It’s unlikely you’re going to have your values fully defined and articulated in one go. But, once you’ve got a working draft you’re happy with, it’s time to put your new values to the test. Read more about some of the experiments you can run - and how to fully step into leading with your values - in our next post.
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