Script: Mental health check
How to enquire about a DR's mental health
How to enquire about a DR's mental health
Time to read: 5 mins
Introduction
Looking out for your team's wellbeing is a fundamental part of your role as a people leader, so you should make it a regular part of your 1:1’s.
This script is specifically for use if you’ve noticed some changes that worry you, for example fluctuations in a team member’s mood, motivation or performance.
Remember that mental health can be a sensitive topic for some people. It’s important to respect individual boundaries, whilst also trying your best to create a safe space to share what’s going on when your team members are going through a tough time. After all, if you don’t know what’s going on, it’s hard to offer the right support.
Before we dive into the script, here are some other important principles to consider when approaching conversations about wellbeing and mental health:
👂Listen, without judgement. It’s easy to jump into “solution mode”. However, there is often not one solution when someone is experiencing poor mental health. Taking the time to listen will not only build greater trust but also help you to really understand and build empathy for what your team member is going through.
⚠️ Be careful about sharing too much of your own experience - it can be tempting to jump in and share experiences that you view as similar to what your team member is describing. Whilst this can sometimes be helpful, be wary of dominating the conversation and don't assume that what helped you or others will be useful for the person in front of you - we are all different.
🫶 Remind them they are a priority. Ensure they understand that you care about them as a human being, not just as an employee.
🗣️Let them know what support is available - and ask what they want + need. It's important to not assume that someone wants further support just because they're opening up to you. Sometimes all that is needed from the conversation is just to feel listened to.
Always, always, ask questions first. Don’t force ideas on them - present options and if they need time to think about what would be appropriate, then always give them that time and follow up in your next 1:1.
🤝 Ask for permission before sharing anything with anyone else on the team.
There might be good reasons why you want to share some details of what you’ve discussed with your team member with others - e.g. if they need to take time off. Where this is the case, you should always ask for permission and make sure you agree exactly what will be communicated to anyone else in the team. The exception to this is if you are concerned that the person may harm themselves imminently. If this is the case, you may need to alert the emergency services or call their emergency contact to ensure that they can access the care they need.
One final note: this script is a great resource to help you prepare for a check in with your team members - but you should always consult your company handbook and any relevant policies before the conversation.
Say
Hi [insert name], I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing as you don’t seem yourself lately. Is there anything you want to chat about?
Listen
Encourage them to share how they are feeling. Give them space to open up. When we’re asked how we’re doing, it can be tempting to reflexively answer ‘I’m fine’ even if you’re not. You’re likely to get more detail through leaving some thinking time or repeating your ask. Depending on their response:
Say
OK, well I really want you to know that if you are ever going through something difficult - big or small, work-related or not, as your manager I would love to be able to support you.
OR
Thank you, I appreciate you sharing that with me. Have you spoken to anyone else about how you’re feeling? [this could be a friend, partner or a mental health professional - you’re just looking to explore what support they have around them at the moment.]
Say
Is there anything that’s happening at work that’s contributing to this?
Listen
try to understand how it must feel for them and to ascertain how you can best support.
If they share a bit about what’s going on, you can move to look at ways that you can help with their work e.g. greater flexibility, some time off, but be led by them and keep asking open questions to encourage them to tell you what they need, rather than you telling them. Ask questions one at a time and listen to the answer carefully. Be aware that it may take a while to think through what support could be helpful.
Say
I’m here for you if and when you want to talk about this further - but there is also lots of additional support out there so please don’t deal with this alone. Please let me know what you need once you’ve had a chance to think this through.
If they are not willing to open up, respect their wishes. Just being there and letting them know that you care about their wellbeing can mean a huge amount to people (even if they don’t always show it).
Check in regularly Remind your team member of any wellbeing benefits your company has in place. There is lots of specialist support available that you could signpost to if they are open to it - do your research on relevant organisations linked to their needs - and if you’re unsure or need further support, consult your People/HR team. Remember that supporting team members can be difficult and emotionally draining at times, so it’s important to practise self-care and access support yourself where you need it.
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